No, wait! It's still good!

How to salvage questionable food, When to throw it away, and How to tell the difference.

This blog is nothing if not about humility.
Let's admit it: we've all been there.  You're hungry, you go to grab the cheese to make a sammich, and there's a greenish patch on the corner. You think back to biology class and how you learned that fungal hyphae burrow deep into their substrate and the fuzzy part on the surface is just the tip of the iceberg. And then you grab a knife, you slice off the fuzzy parts, and you make your sandwich. With extra mustard, because as we all know spicy condiments kill bacteria and mold*.

Food thrown away is money thrown away. And we don't always get to everything in the refrigerator before it starts to go. So here's a quick and dirty way to know if what you're thinking about eating is good to go or needs to get gone, and how to make it still taste okay even if it's no longer pretty.

Moldy or Overripe Strawberries (and other fruits and veggies, too)
Strawberries are often affected by Rhizopus fungus that causes them to go fuzzy and gross. The first indications of berries gone awry are bruised spots on the fruit, followed by a greyish fuzz on the soft areas of the fruit.
Any visibly moldy berries should be tossed, as the fungus has penetrated the entire berry and may be producing toxins. Berries with bruising are still safe, though. Mix up a solution of one part vinegar to three parts water and soak your fruit for at least thirty seconds before rinsing thoroughly with cool water. Cut off the soft spots before you eat the berries.

Moldy Bread
Bread is also the victim of Rhizopus fungus, as well as a host of other fungi that are toxic. If only one or two slices on the end are moldy, it's probably still safe to eat the rest. Transfer the unaffected bread to a clean, dry bag for continued storage. Toss the unaffected slices closest to the mold, too, just in case. One trick is to touch and sniff the unaffected slices. If they're dry and smell bready, you're good. If they're damp or smell at all musty, then toss 'em. The mold is probably present. If you think your bread's okay but you're still a bit wary, toast it before eating. Heat will kill any surface-dwelling unwanted presences.

Stale Chips and Snacks
Processed snacks are expensive and it's always heartbreaking when a treat gets left open and goes stale. But you can revive your spendy munchies by putting them in a single layer on a baking sheet and putting them into a 400˚ oven for a minute or two. Keep an eye on them and take them out before they get brown.

Stale Bread and Other Pastries
Rock-hard bread still has a valued place in my heart. I'll douse it with olive oil and vinegar for bread salad with tomatoes and olives and a little mozzarella. Or pop it into a bowl of soup as a super-sized crouton. Or hack it into reasonable-sized hunks and soak it with broth and herbs for stuffing.
Sweeter pastries can survive getting stale, too, as long as they're not moldy. Hard pastries like cakes, doughnuts, or croissants can get torn up and mixed with egg and milk for ugly but tasty bread-and-butter pudding, or you could whip together a strata. I've also revived cake by dousing it with my homemade baklava honey syrup.

Milk Past Expiration Date
It's tricky with milk. Depending on your refrigerator temperature, the milk-to-air ratio in your carton, and sources of contamination, milk can spoil well before the sell-by date or as much as a month after. I personally perceive milk as "spoiled" way before most people, so i generally don't buy the stuff unless i'm going to use it right away. I also keep my fridge at or near the coldest setting to keep foods longer. If your milk smells okay, go ahead and use it. If it's getting questionable, but not yet spoiled, you can keep it a little bit longer for use in cooking by turning it into pseudo-buttermilk. Just add one tablespoon of vinegar (apple cider or white) to each scant cup of milk. Let it sit for about five minutes and stir before using. You'll get another few days to use it up this way.

Eggs Past Sell-By Date
The expiration date on eggs is somewhat misleading.  If kept in a 45˚ F environment, eggs may be good for up to a month past their sell-by date. If you're not sure about them, crack each egg one at a time into a separate bowl for examination before adding them to your recipe. The yolk should be bright yellow or orangey, never greenish, and should have a firm-looking membrane around it unless you accidentally broke it while cracking the egg. The white should be slightly thick and goopy. If it's runny or watery, your egg is probably too far gone to use. Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching raw eggs. No need to risk salmonella!

Moldy Cheese
If it's a hard cheese, like cheddar or jack, just cut off the mold. Take off a minimum of a half inch and as much as a whole inch, and for goodness' sake keep your knife out of the moldy areas!
If your cheese is soft, though, like a brie or goat cheese, then it's gone. Throw it out. Cry a little bit inside. Say a few words over the trash bin and next time you go to the grocery think fondly of the cheese that could have been.

Mold on leftovers, meats, or canned or jarred items is a death knell. Consider these a loss.

Remember that food is only worth the money you've paid if you actually get to enjoy it. Don't save your favorite perishables for an uncertain future. Eat them, or share them with a friend.
I'll update this entry over time with links to recipes that incorporate revived food, too. So stay tuned.

*Not an actual true fact. Do not attempt.